Tags
darkness, family conflict, grandparenting, hate, personal, Prayer
Nocturne in Black and Gold by James McNeill Whistler
I get this message about once a week from my granddaughter’s mother. It goes into great detail about the pain she hopes I will suffer.
As some of you may know, I am trying to gain permanent guardianship of her daughter after she was taken away from her mother by Child Welfare Services. This is not the first time her daughter has been put into my care by the courts. I raised her from age 2 1/2 years to four years.
This message I get is by no means the least hostile or vicious. It’s just I can’t repeat in a public forum the vile things she says on a regular basis about me and my son, my husband, and even her own mother, who all support me in this effort. Things that would make a sailor blush.
Most of the time I can blow it off. I know it’s the ramblings of an angry, unstable mind.
But every time I sit down and try to write a new blog post, these words come to mind and won’t go away. So maybe I just need to get it out there so I can move on.
I like to blog about what’s forefront in my mind, what excites and inspires me, and yes, what disturbs and troubles me. I guess I just can’t wrap my mind around the kind of darkness that would say such things. It’s staggering to me. If nothing else it’s inspired my own prayers to go much deeper than ever before.
Despite this spiteful barrage of texts and emails I receive from her, there’s still much that inspires me each and every day of my life, not least this precious child who lives with me.
And I’m painting again, at last. A new watercolor class. Soon I’ll be back to my novel. In the meantime, I may re-post things I wrote about years ago that still inspire me.
Please bear with me until I get my groove back.
And say a prayer for this woman who lives in such darkness, who wants to blame me for the loss of her child instead of looking into the mirror. I used to feel deeply her pain, empathize with her as a mother, but she’s worn me out with her hate. Now I am ever more determined that this child should never go back into a home where such vileness lives.
Brave post.
Braver still, you…
Not really, but thank you, Laura.
Thank you, Deborah, for sharing your experience. Your post touched me very deeply.
I will add you, your granddaughter and your granddaughter’s mother to my daily intention to radiate light that dispels darkness.
Thank you, Catherine. That means a lot to me.
Deborah, I am only liking the fact you were able to get this information out here and out of your system for a while, not the way you are being treated by your granddaughter’s mother. Such vile hostility must wear you down and cause you pain as you fight for the right to protect your granddaughter and love her like she deserves. It’s good to hear you’re finding ways to claw back your creativity. I will uphold you all in prayer and ask for the pain, wounding words and darkness to recede, and for light, love and peace to flourish instead. Thinking of you, my friend. Take care of yourself.. Your words are always welcome, be they old or new. ❤
Thank you, Joy. I really appreciate that.
I admire what you are doing Deborah. I have a friend local going through much the same. Sending prayers.
Prayers to your friend as well. Thank you.
Thank you!
Deborah, I am sending you much light as you process all of the complicated and painful feelings. During a recent breakdown of a close family relationship, it was the random kindness of strangers that helped me get through the darkness. May you be surrounded in this kind of love while you do the hard work of fighting for your granddaughter.
Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing and also for your kind words and wishes.
Dear Deborah, I am so sorry for what you are going through. Love you.
Thank you dear Andrea.
Deborah, I’m so sorry you and that precious child are going through this. Don’t let your guard down by feeling compassion for the mother. That’s my two cent advice for the day, but I feel it strongly or wouldn’t write it.
Thanks Luanne. I will keep my guard up.
Deborah, this was a very moving post. I do believe that the prayers of so many people who read this will help to dispel the darkness you write of..
Do you know the Golden Key by Emmett Fox. You can find it online… I’ve found it so helpful over the years.
I also contacted Silent Unity of the Unity Church to pray for my grandson when things were bad some years ago. They were so loving and supportive, and you might find them helpful too.
Thinking of you, and sending blessings to you all, Valerie
Thank you, Valerie. I believe in the power of prayer too. I do believe that only good and spiritual growth will be the outcome of this challenging experience.