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Blog, Blogging, Jacque Lacan, online community, Online Writing, poetry, Shikibu Murasaki, touching and being touched, writing
“The accident of touching / is so rare! Sometimes / I pause my hand on purpose / and hope to find yours there.”
These are the last lines of a poem I wrote long ago.
But I realize now that’s what this blog is all about, a way of “pausing my hand on purpose,” and hoping to find you there.
It’s all about touching, isn’t it? Touching others with our lives, our insights and understanding, our memories and dreams, our poetry and art. Blogging meets this basic human need—to touch others and be touched in return.
We’ve all heard how physical touching is essential to human health and happiness. They say people can shrivel up and die for want of being touched or having someone to touch. A simple pat on the shoulder, a hug, a hand squeeze can make all the difference. Merely having a pet, they say, saves lives.
But there’s a basic human need for another kind of touching—from the inside out. Touching others with what means the most to us, our deepest responses to the world around us. Keeping those unspoken, unexpressed, can be as withering as being untouched physically. Which is why, perhaps, so many writers and artists will give their work away for free if need be, just to allow what’s inside out into the world where it can touch others, and “evoke responses.”
“The function of language is not to inform but to evoke . . . responses.” – Jacques Lacan
It’s why, perhaps, art for art’s sake is a need for some. Art not to please others, but to evoke a response. To share something essential with others that must not go unspoken, unheard.
“Again and again something in one’s own life, or in the life around one, will seem so important that one cannot bear to let it pass into oblivion.
There must never come a time, the writer feels, when people do not know about this.”
Shikibu Murasaki, Tale of Genji (978 – 1014 AD)
Blogging is like those conversations we have in the wee hours of the morning, when the party is over and all have left except for those few lingering souls who find themselves opening up to each other in ways they could never do when meeting on the street or over dinner. Those 3 AM conversations, you know.
That’s how blogging often is done too, late at night when we can’t sleep, or after we’ve put our novel to bed, or when we wake early and are seeking the company of other early risers, or those living half-way round the world from us.
In person, we rarely have time to bare our souls this way in such depth without interruption. But here we can do it without disturbing anyone’s sleep or taking them away from their work or families.
We can share our thoughts and evoke responses in our own time, and others can respond in the same way, with a quick “like” or a longer comment. And we can respond in return.
For loners or social introverts like myself, it’s a way of reaching out to others that feels more comfortable than the spoken word. I feel I may be getting “the best” of them in those wee hour revelations, as they are getting the best I have to offer, a side of myself I seldom share apart from the written page.
It’s the reciprocity that I find so meaningful. Touching and being touched in return.
Here’s the rest of that poem I wrote so long ago, unshared, until today.
The Accident of Touching
Once, in some wild gesture,
Some random fancy
I found my hand stretched out,
Open and unprotected.
There, your hand paused,
Palm moist and heavy
Yet warm and lively.
Before I thought to clasp it
The moment passed and
You were gone.
Now, I watch hands
As they quickly dart and
Never cease to move.
The accident of touching
Is so rare! Sometimes
I pause my hand on purpose
And hope to find yours there.
by Deborah J. Brasket
More of my posts on blogging:
Blogging as Virtual Love-Making, and the Science Behind It
Is Blogging Orgasmic? More on the Science of Sharing
More poetry, unshared, until I blogged:
The Geometry and Geography of Love
Your post reminded me of the TV show “Touch” which addresses the myriad ways in which we all are connected and how we can touch one another’s lives, sometimes not even understanding the significance.
Your poem touched my heart; thanks for sharing yours. And congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I don’t think I ever saw that show “touch” but wish I had. I so appreciate your comments.
Deborah, you can find a couple of seasons of Touch on Netflix, or if you don’t subscribe, check out Project Free TV on the web. You don’t have to download anything, although it makes it seem that way. All kinds of movies and shows for free. Enjoy!
Thank you, deep resonance for me here in both the “purpose” of writting in general and perhaps a reflection on “touching” that is both more complete and “safer”. Points to ponder.
So glad this resonated with you. Thanks for stopping by.
Reblogged this on Break Free.
Your thoughts unfurled catch quite cleanly the wanting eye. Touched indeed. reblogged in tribute.
Reblogged this on bhuber1500 and commented:
Have often thought the book should be written: “Bone Deep: The impact of touch on the human body and soul” – The following blog speaks to that universal truth.
A lovely title. I would read that book.
It took me a while to find this post again, but I read it almost two months ago, the day before my first date with the guy who is now my boyfriend– though we didn’t know it was a date at the beginning! This poem kept running through my head when I looked down and saw his hand at the edge of the seat, so I put my hand down, and we ended up holding hands, and here we are now… So I wanted to say thank you for this, because I don’t normally take risks like that without knowing someone else’s feelings, and this poem was what prompted me to put my hand down; I didn’t want to later regret not doing so. Thank you for this!😊
-Heather
Thank you for tracking this down and sharing! How lovely to think my poem prompted you to do that!
Reblogged this on larry1333's Blog.
A great website – I love it. I’m just launching my website this New Year (Felicity Forum.com). I’ve been reading all last year the HOW TO stuff and decided I just had to get in there and do it…You website is lovely, and very inspiring – I was ‘touched’ by it. Thanks
Thank you, Felicity. I hope you enjoy blogging as much as I do.
Reblogged this on miracle.
Reblogged this on Benniecraftphotography and commented:
Beautiful
We live in a world where masks and barriers are the norm. Sometimes in real time I see someone sad and preoccupied and I wish I could console them. This is where writing has the advantage. We can not only read others’ thoughts but also connect with them.
Thank you. So nicely put!
Reblogged this on gacheristews.
Reblogged this on Design-nation.
Pingback: One Year Later: Why Blog? Why Now? | Laura Bruno Lilly
Beautiful article….and very true about blogging. Thanks for touching us all with your words!
Thank you! And thank you for the follow too.
Reblogged this on Poetry Joy and commented:
It’s especially true of writers and creatives that our hearts long to touch others with our words, our art, ourselves. We savour times when our souls collide and our lives are enriched in the sharing. Even if we pause to like a person’s blog post and do not stop to leave a comment, that very act is enough to bring a smile and give encouragement to them, as it reveals a connection has been made. Isn’t that why we all want to write? To breathe out the essence of who we are and hope that others will be able to relate to it? Deborah’s post puts this way of touching another through our art so beautifully. Enjoy the read and do check out her stunning art work, thoughtful poetry and prose in other posts. 😊💜
Very touching post. Grateful that Joy introduced me to you.
Thank you! And many thanks to Joy for sharing this with her readers.
I love the poem. What might have happened if fingers had touched and hands had clasped 🙂
Thank you! Good always comes from that ability to touch and be touched.
Oh, this has touched me so deeply… The way you created a parallel between the need for physical touch and to touch others through our creative work – that was splendid. I have never made the connection until now.
Your words mean a lot to me, especially since they are incredibly timely. Loners self-isolating all across the globe longing for touch… The poem was also very moving, excruciating almost, particularly towards the end. Thank you for sharing it with the world!
PS: Have you watched the movie “Perfect Sense”?
Interesting, I remember reading Tale of Genji long ago, when I stumbled upon it as a freshman wandering amazed in my university’s main library. I cannot recall much abut it — just that I enjoyed it. Glad you have a quote.
I’ve never read her book, but I love the quote. It strikes me as true, that some things hit us in such a powerful way, that we feel the need to preserve it, to not let it disappear.