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Addiction, Families, fiction, Online Writing, Relationships, short story, Short Story Month, writing
Short stories are getting a lot of love lately. May has been proclaimed National Short Story Month. Others have dubbed 2013 as the “Year of the Short Story”. Either way, for those who write short stories or love to read them, this is a reason to celebrate.
So I was pleased when my short story “When Things Go Missing” was published in the newest issue of Unchartered Frontier, an online literary journal. The story is actually an excerpt from a novel that I’m writing. Here’s the synopsis.
One day Fran heads toward the grocery store and keeps on going till she reaches the tip of South America. Meanwhile she leaves behind an empty hole in the lives of her family, an insecure daughter trying to cope with the rigors of graduate school and lackluster love life, a son strung out on heroin, filled with self-pity and rage, and a husband who plots her course across the continent with push pins on a map as he pays her credit card bills. How they cope with her mysterious disappearance and the cryptic phone messages and photographs she sends them, as well as rediscover each other and forge new relationships in her absence, creates the heart of this novel.
The novel is written from the perspectives of three main characters, the daughter Kay, the son Cal, and the husband. The short story is Cal’s first chapter (adapted to stand-alone). His story is particularly difficult to write (and perhaps read) because many readers will not find him sympathetic at the beginning. For others who have experience with addiction, ADHD, or love-hate parental relationships, his story may be painful and heartbreaking, and might hit a little too close to home.
But for those who love a good “prodigal son” story, or like rooting for the underdog–cheering for Rocky Balboa when he ran up those stairs, or rooting for Bradley Cooper’s character in the recent film Silver Linings Playbook—I’m hoping they will cut Cal a bit of slack.
A lot of things are missing or perceived missing in Cal’s life, as the title “When Things Go Missing” indicates. It’s interesting how so much of who we are is shaped by the things missing or absent in our lives–as much as, or more so perhaps, than what’s actually there. The whole premise of the novel is how the mother’s absence shapes the lives of those left behind, as well as how they come to “re-see” her in light of her absence.
But it’s also about how we struggle to make sense of our lives, struggle to piece things together when so much seems missing. Especially since how often these puzzles are pieced together from scraps of memories, misperceptions, misunderstandings, miscommunications, misinformation, as well as our own prejudices and preferences, which often blind us to what actually is. Those missing pieces come to shape how we see each other as much as what’s actually there. In some ways, none of us are really what we are perceived to be by others. We are all the unreliable narrators of our own stories.
The miracle, perhaps, is how we connect at all. How despite all that would seem to conspire to keep us apart, we come together nonetheless.
If this sort of thing interests you, you can read “When Things Go Missing” online in Chartered Frontier. You can also download the journal for free in a number of forms.
Here’s the opening of the story to get you started:
Cal stands on the front stoop of his parent’s home with a cold breeze swirling around him, liking the damp chill seeping into his skin, goosing it up. The sun is almost gone, a faint, dull glow smeared along the horizon. Dusk settles like ashes over the neighborhood rooftops. He watches his sister backing her Volvo down the driveway, heading off to Northridge or Norwalk or wherever the hell she’s living these days. She’d come home looking for a little comfort since mom had gone missing. Fat chance of that. But he’s sorry now that she’s gone, sorry he hadn’t at least said he loved her, or asked her for a loan, and missing her even before she disappears around the corner. He takes a long last drag on his cigarette, squeezes the tip, and drops what’s left into his shirt pocket to save for later.
It feels weird walking into his parents’ house without knocking, even though he’d grown up here, been living here since his last stint in county jail, and off and on over the past ten years. He’s acutely conscious that this is not his home and never really had been, not even when he was a kid. He sucks on the fact like a sore tooth, teasing it, testing it with his tongue. It’s like he’d been born homeless. Like from the day he was born they were all just waiting for him to move out again. The thought fills him with a strange sense of satisfaction: Cal didn’t need a home. Didn’t need anything, anyone. Ever.
I hope a few of you will take the time to read this and let me know what you think. It would mean a lot.
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Well…when I got to page 12 and a new story started I kept flipping back and forth..had I made a mistake? I wanted to keep going.
First off, I don’t believe an apology or explanation or whatever for this character is needed at all. A characterization this real is an insight into a human soul. Your compassionate rendering beautifully balances all the hard edged nonsense thrown out as “reality” that sours us to our humanity, forcing us to be selective in our viewing.
I’m deeply moved, Deborah, by this portrayal.
Bravo…and I look forward to being with these characters more.
Jana, I can’t tell you how much this means to me. I’ve had a couple of critique partners who just didn’t get Cal, and didn’t much like him, so I began to question if I was on the right track here. But your response is the one I had been looking for, so that is so reassuring to me.
Yes, the short story ends on page 12. But Cal’s story continues in the novel, so when it’s done, I’ll look forward to sharing it with you.
I just finished reading your short story on Smashwords. Wow! It was so good. I really loved Cal; he is flawed, and flawed is so important, especially in this kind of work. He feels real, rejected, self-justifying: human.
If there is a place where you’d like me to leave a longer review, I would be more than happy to. This piece deserves attention. 🙂
Thank you so much for the offer, Alex. And also for the feedback–so glad you loved Cal, found him “real,” human. I don’t have a place for a longer review at the moment, but may in the near future, if I can call on your offer at that time.
Absolutely. Any time, please feel free. 🙂
Hi Deborah,
I read your story, *When Things Go Missing*. You were right that it was a bit difficult to totally empathize with Cal, but it did make me curious to find out more, what would happen next and how all the main characters’ storylines would play out and intersect. I noticed that this story/novel excerpt had little, if any dialogue, which was interesting to me as I’m revising a novel I wrote and I’m, of course, hearing lots of opinions from writing instructors about balance of dialogue and narrative.
Good luck with your novel and I look forward to hearing when it gets published.
Best regards, Natylie Baldwin
Thank you, Natylie. Really appreciate your reading the story and commenting here.
On the dialog question, some chapters/stories have a lot more dialog than this one, but I think it depends on the purpose, what you’re trying to accomplish in a particular piece of writing. Here I was trying to get into Cal’s mind, his thoughts, his perceptions of the world, and set a base line for how he is at the beginning of his story, so the reader sees how he changes over the course of the story. I was trying to show how isolated he is, cut off from people, living in his head, that extreme self-interest that comes with addiction, as well as the mental anguish, self-justification, distorted sense of himself and others. So I wanted it to be dense and intense, and dialog takes you out of that.
My own opinion on the advice about balance between narrative and dialog is that it’s a nice guideline if it fits the story and accomplishes what is needed to bring reader to a satisfactory conclusion. But sometimes I see dialog that doesn’t move the story along or develop character or deepen the theme or add to the emotional impact of the story. It seems to be there just to fulfill some critic’s sense of balance.
But then I like stories with a lot of meat. So a lot of the stories I like best don’t have a lot of dialog.
On the other hand, if the purpose is to write something light and entertaining, then a lot of clever and fun dialog may be just what is needed. The one humorous story I wrote has a lot of dialog.
Good luck on your novel too. It’s quite a challenging process, isn’t it!
You’re right. Cal provides the unsympathetic narrator whose messiness compels us to wonder. You’ve caught the nuances of a life on the edge, of a character with an uncertain present, not to mention a future. The people like Cal who’ve passed through my life didn’t end well, which makes me hope that a fictional life, not well lived, may yet be redeemed. As always, beautifully written.
(I love writing from the POV of a wrecked character. So I get this.)
Thanks Normandie! I always appreciate your take on my writing. And yes, some troubled souls do find redemption, in real life as well as fiction. It is nice as a writer to play “god” and help them on their way.
Love the premise — sounds right up my alley. Love your explanation of its themes, too. I’m off to pick up my son so I can’t read the whole thing right now, but regarding the synopsis–the first line drew me in so well that I was a bit disappointed and surprised to find out the novel wasn’t about her journey. I still love the premise and am interested in reading this book, but if that’s the synopsis you’re using, I’d maybe start with one of the other characters, or with a question regarding one of its themes, or…..dunno. But as a reader, I had to readjust my expectations for the book once you told me it’s not told from Fran’s pov since the first half of the synopsis is devoted to her and what she does.
That said, I’m excited about this!
Thank you Jessica! Good call on the synopsis–I can see how that would throw you off, and will see about changing it. I have thought that the story of the mother’s journey would be fun to write sometime too. Maybe a sequel??
That’s a fantastic idea. Two books, same event, different point of views — love it. Especially since you’re setting would be different so it wouldn’t feel redundant. I’ve heard of that within one book, but has anyone ever done it over two books?
“your” 🙂
I haven’t heard of it either, but it would be a completely different book, one that could be read without having read the other, I imagine. Something to think about.
It was interesting that I had just watched Silver Linings Playbook and then saw your piece, so I had to read it. I want to say first thank you for creating Cal so we could see life through his eyes. Unfortunately I, and my husband, saw a little bit of our son in the movie’s character so as I read your piece, I was curious about Cal’s feelings and motivations.
Your work was a page turner for me and I think it’s an important topic, especially these days when so many medical issues just get drugged away. One theme I have worked on myself, and something I included in my Master’s thesis in education is the idea that what we consider unacceptable medical issues may just have basis in our natural creative processes. In other words, the kinds of behaviors we see and accept in the very young child is wrong or abnormal if continued into adulthood. There is so much pressure to conform and fit into society as a ‘productive’ person who conforms to social norms that I wonder if a different setting might ease their predicament. For instance, my son now lives in Kauai, Hawaii and he was thrilled to find that he fit perfectly into their slower ‘Hawaii’ time.
So while Cal may seem an unappealing character, I think there are people who want to know what makes him tick, especially since there are many out there like him.
Thank you for that!
Like you, I also saw my son while watching Silver Linings Playbook. That place where Bradley and Jennifer (can’t think of stage names) connect in the café, realizing that they are able to talk about things together that others would find weird, really struck me. So often people with these kinds of problems can’t talk to “normal” people who haven’t been where they’ve been, mentally and emotionally. The way they talk about things disturbs others, and they shy away from them. So these people are so isolated in “normal” society.
Also I totally agree with what you said about some of this disturbing behavior having a basis in natural creative processes. Take people with ADHD, for instance. They would have been the leaders and heroes in a hunter-gatherer society where they are constantly on the move, scanning the landscape for game or food or danger, fearless risk-takers, jumping without thinking because to stop and think would mean death. That’s where they would excel.
In another Chapter Cal talks about life on the street, and that’s where he’s comfortable, living hand-to-mouth, constantly on the lookout for opportunities, for danger, for excitement; able to manipulate people because he’s always three steps ahead of anyone else, and actually enjoying the adrenaline rush of living on the edge, taking risks no “sane” person would.
Street life is a type of hunter-and-gatherer lifestyle that they take comfort in, and often thrive in. Even in jail, there’s that sense of having to be on your toes, aware of danger, aware of opportunities, gaining the advantage, being top dog, or befriending him, becoming part of a pack, etc.
It’s in our conventional, normal 9-5 work environment–head to the grind-stone, rigid routines, playing it safe, working for the long-haul, seeking security and avoiding risk where they don’t fit in and can’t perform well.
I’m glad your son found an environment that he fits into better. Sometimes that’s all they need.
Congratulations on having your story published, Deborah. That is wonderful news. I will be sure to read it -your synopsis certainly appeals to me. And I have not seen Silver Linings Playbook yet -perhaps I should.
Thanks, Jeremy, I’d love to hear what you think of the story. Also, be sure to see Silver Linings Playbook. I think you’d enjoy it.
This is thinking about brighter